A montessori educator communicating with two young children with a Montessori approach

Communicating with young children the Montessori way

PART 1

Communicating the Montessori way involves more than words and tone. It involves attitude, body language and actions responsive to the children and their needs. The following list gives some of the important ways of communicating the Montessori way in Great Minds early Childhood Center:

1. Prepare the environment

The carefully prepared Montessori environment in Great Minds ECC tells the child they can move and explore easily and safely. It also communicates that it contains attractive things that interest and challenge the child, motivating them to move and explore and rewarding their natural curiosity. The following are a few examples of how we prepare the environment at Great Minds Early Childhood Center:

  • Build in control of error that challenges the children to learn to control their movements. For example, chairs move easily if jostled.
  • Make the children feel welcome and competent to make choices for their own comfort. For example furniture is child-size and in a variety of shape and sizes.
  • Ground the children in what is real before introducing them to fantasy. At Great Minds ECC teachers offer real or realistic looking objects for them to work with.
  • Keep use of plastic materials to a minimum. Young children learn by using all their senses: sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell. Plastic, being odorless and generally hard and smooth in texture, does not offer the range of sensory stimulation provided by natural objects. Instead, as often as possible, present a variety of real objects appealing to all five senses. Some examples are unusual vegetable and fruits, aromatic herbs, fabrics, child size musical instruments, objects from nature.

2. Use Proactive Guidance Strategies

Proactive guidance refers to communication strategies that many Montessori teachers have found effective because the goal is to guide not to force children in positive ways as they develop. Instead of deciding how the child will develop, teachers at Great Minds Early Childhood Center act as guides for children. Using proactive guidance strategies rather than praise or punishment, the teachers communicate to the children when they are not acting suitably, compliment them when they are and show them that there are many alternatives to unsuitable behavior. These are some examples of ways the teachers at Great Minds ECC recommend to parents and use themselves to communicate what is suitable behavior to young children:  

  • Let the children know that you notice and appreciate their suitable behaviour. When the child behaves suitably, use positive interaction, a communication stratregy consisting of quiet, simple statements or physical responses that let a child know that she has been noticed and acknowledged. Positive interaction does not involve cheering and clapping or reward and punishment. The reinforcement can be as simple as a smile or a quiet observation, such as “ I see you put that mat aways James” or “ Amid you are turning those pages very carefully” or “ Ben I hear how quietly you closed that door”.
  • Communicate to the children that cooperative behavior, not competition, is the norm. Do not encourage children to run races or to be the first in line.
  • Make every effort not to reward unsuitable behavior with direct attention. For example, try not to react immediately when a child screams in anger or throws herself on the floor in a rage. Instead, acknowledge the behaviour and help the child identify the feelings behind it : “ I hear than you are feeling angry” or “ I see that you are crying. Are you feeling sad?” Then calmly look for opportunities to direct the child to more suitable behavior.
  • Show the children that playing cooperatively can be fun. Develop a repertoire of constructive cooperative games and play them regularly with children.
  • Intervene gently, quietly and only when necessary. Unless there is a danger, wait before intervening and give children time to solve their own problems. If possible prevent unsuitable behaviors by gently and quietly distracting or directing. Another proactive guidance strategy, referred to as gluing, involves keeping a child who is restless or disturbing others close by for a short period of time until is ready again to work and move independently.
  • Give a direct choice by offering the child the opportunity to choose between two equally attractive and positive actions or objects. This way of communicating shows the child that you have confidence in her ability to make choices and gives her experience in expressing preferences. E.g. “ Do you want to read a book or draw a picture?”
  • Slow down. Moving slowly and carefully both slows the caregiver to the pace of the child, who tend to look at and examine everything, and models careful and safe movement for everyone in the childcare environment. Carrying items carefully, one at a time, in both hands is a great way to communicate careful and safe movement.
  • Speak and listen with respect. Speaking and listening with respect is an important part of communicating with children. Some of the ways Great Minds ECC teachers use and also recommend to the caregivers are to show respect to children include speaking slowly and quietly, bending down to the child’s level, using proper and not “baby talk” words, listening without interruption and always asking for permission to take or move something the child is handling.
  • Use non-verbal signal for quiet and stopping. Most Montessori teachers  work out non verbal signals for quiet and for stopping to communicate quickly with children. For example in the outdoor play area 2 year old Ahmed picks up a sharp stick from a small tree and runs with it. His teacher claps her hands loudly twice. Because the teacher has presented lessons showing that two loud claps always mean “stop now” Ahmed stops.

More ways of effective communication with children will be presented in our next BLOG.

Great Minds ECC Team

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Family arranging wall art after moving

The parent’s guide to moving with children

WHAT TO DO BEFORE, DURING AND AFTER Before the move: setting the foundation Children pick up far more from how their parents feel than from what their parents say — especially before age five, when emotion carries more weight than information. If you’re tense, they’ll attach that tension to the move. If you can hold space for excitement and honesty, they’ll learn to do the same. A few things to keep in mind: Include them in the conversation, at every age. Even babies benefit from being spoken to as part of the family’s plans. The level of detail changes with age, but the principle doesn’t: the more children understand what’s happening, the safer they tend to feel. Be realistic, not aspirational. It’s tempting to promise that everything will be bigger, better, happier in the new home. But children remember promises, and you can’t guarantee how they’ll feel. Saying “we’re going to be so happy there” sets up a standard that may not match reality. Instead, try: “I’m going to miss this house and everything we did here, and I’m also looking forward to new experiences in the next one.” That acknowledges loss without adding anxiety. Don’t minimise what’s being left behind. A child’s home or room is their safe space. Treating that lightly, even with the best intentions, can make the transition harder. Show them what’s coming. Visit the new home if possible, or share photos if not. The more concrete it feels, the less frightening it becomes. Pack the things and beings that hold them steady. A favourite blanket, a familiar toy, the mobile from above the crib. These aren’t just things; they’re anchors of safety in a season of change. Where you can, involve your child in choosing what comes with them, it gives them a small but meaningful sense of control. Pets are also a part of the support system. If they can come, bring them. If they can’t, make sure to give your child time & space to say goodbye properly. During the move: what reassurance actually looks like Moving day is rarely calm. Routines break, energy is high, and parents are often running on adrenaline. Here’s what helps children feel held through it. Make space for goodbyes, sentiment and all. Saying goodbye to the room, the house, the people, this is sentimental, and that’s exactly why it matters. It’s how children process change. Let them choose what travels with them. A small bag of items they pick themselves can make a long journey feel less like a loss. A favourite stuffed animal, a book they love, a pillowcase that smells like home. Familiar pieces of their world that remind them, even in unfamiliar surroundings, that some things stay the same. Watch for changes, but don’t panic. Unusual behaviour, lethargy, and even minor physical symptoms can show up during disruption. This isn’t necessarily a red flag, it’s a signal to slow down, ask gentle questions, and offer extra closeness. An extra hug, an extra few minutes of attention, an extra bit of quiet time together can all help. Pay attention to the meaning behind the question. Children often communicate what they need indirectly. A logistical-sounding question may carry an emotional one underneath. One example: a child moving from their rented apartment to a new purchased home in the same area asked, “Why can’t we just buy this apartment instead?” On the surface, a practical question. Underneath, a clear message: I want to stay where I feel safe. Open questions deserve open answers. Regulate your own emotions, again. Worth repeating from the section before, because it’s possibly the single most important thing a parent can do during a move. Your child’s nervous system is reading yours. The calmer you can be, even when you’re working at it, the more reassurance your child receives. After the move: the season most people underestimate The boxes are unpacked. The new chapter is just beginning, and the gentlest part of the work often starts here. Let routines find their shape. Predictability is what helps children feel safe in new surroundings, but routines don’t need to fall into place overnight. Small consistencies help, mealtimes, bedtime stories, a regular weekend walk. Over time, these small repetitions become the foundation of feeling at home. Involve them in shaping the new space. Choosing furniture, deciding where things go, picking out their room. These small choices help your child feel the new home is theirs too, not just somewhere they’ve been brought to. Keep the old connections close, especially at first. This isn’t about replacing the old support system with a new one, both can coexist. In the early weeks, more frequent video calls with friends and family from the old home can ease the transition. As your child begins to settle, that contact will naturally find a gentler rhythm. Don’t force happiness. A nicer home doesn’t erase what was left behind. Both feelings can exist at once, and both deserve acknowledgement. Recreate anchors of familiarity. Continuity in small things helps make change in big things easier. If your child had a regular activity, a sport, a class, anything that gave their week structure, try to find something similar in the new place. The same applies to parents: your own stability and continuity are part of what helps your child settle. When parents feel grounded, children feel it. Adjustment takes the time it takes. There’s no fixed timeline. Some children adjust within weeks, others take many months, some longer. It depends on the family, the child, the type of move, and dozens of variables that are different in every household. The most helpful thing a parent can do is meet the situation as it is, rather than measure it against an expected pace. Let go of the phrase “kids adjust easily.” Some do. Many don’t. Saying it out loud can lead to skipping over parts of the process children actually need to feel. When you invite your child to share their feelings, return the openness.

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